Rule No. 45: Be yourself, everyone else is already taken

This weekend I spent 24 hours without a mobile phone. It was hell.

Ever since I organised Jeans for Genes Day at work on Friday and raised £49 for charity (not too bad), I have had bad karma. What is that about? It's not supposed to work like that, surely?

Not only did I break a mirror yesterday, but I got my phone stolen on Friday night. This meant that for 24 hours I was without a phone, which led to the below:

1) I couldn't check my Facebook when on the move (torture)

2) I couldn't take photos of my friends when we were out

3) I got lost and couldn't use maps on my phone...I had to ask a man in a petrol station for directions

4) My friends panicked where I was when I got lost. They were worried I had been murdered as I was over an hour late and couldn't contact them

5) I couldn't have my usual hungover phone conversations with Abi and Aimee

6) I couldn't phone my mum

8) I couldn't check Snapchat

9) I couldn't Tweet about my hangover

10) I couldn't check whether anyone had messaged me on Tinder

However, there were some good things:

1) I didn't drunk text anyone on Friday night

2) I didn't take horrific drunken photographs of myself or anyone else 

3) I didn't wake up with the dreaded 'oh no, who did I phone/text last night' panic

Aimee found my phone in the toilets of a bar we were in so I did actually get it back on Saturday. I'm not sure why someone took it out of my bag and then left it in the toilets, but oh well. I know what you're thinking...I was sober when it was taken from my bag, and no it wasn't me that left it in the toilet. I'm not that silly. I don't think.

The boy situation is still extremely disappointing. Although, a guy did tell me he liked my mole on Friday night. 

He could have said anything, 'I like your eyes', 'your face, 'your hair'...but no, my bloody mole. My friend Jo used to draw faces on my mole when we were at school, she would then point at me and say 'moley, moley, moley'.  Some would say this was bullying. 

I have reconstructed the mole face for you.

Yes, I am wearing a onesie.

I am actually going to have a shower in a minute as I have a fire poi lesson, so I'm not planning on being lazy all day... However, I would love to just sit in my onesie and listen to the new Arctic Monkeys album all day. It's so unbelievably good. I think 'Knee Socks' and 'Snap Out Of It' are my favourite tracks. I always want to break out into a dance when I'm listening to 'Snap Out Of It' on the tube.

I'm going to leave you with something I saw yesterday. I was sitting on a wall in the Tesco car park (as you do) and a couple in their 40s came out of Tesco and just left their trolley in the middle of the car park. They were too lazy to push it another 10 metres to the trolley station. Then, a little girl who was probably only about 5 years old came out of Tesco with her mum. She saw the trolley and went up to it. Her mum told her to leave it alone, but she didn't listen, she pushed the trolley over to the trolley station and put it away like it was supposed to. This just shows that some children have more common sense, manners and decency than adults. We can learn a lot from kids. 

Oscar Wilde created today's rule, and I believe he has a very good point. Be yourself. 

Even if you're a complete weirdo.

Peace x

Rule No.28: Don't go on a boat with a hangover

You are going to LOVE what happened to me last night. 

To give you the background story...on Tuesday night Heather and I got chatting to the pianist, and I gave him the link to my blog. We were also discussing our favourite songs, where mine has always been Tracy Chapman - Fast Car. 

Last night after dinner Heather and I went to go and watch the pianist (as we are his groupies). After a few songs he said "my next song is from a movie from Great Britain, based on the most beautiful girl on the island...Bridget Jones". 

!!!!!!

THEN he played Tracy Chapman - Fast Car..."this is for Gina". 

!!!!!

Of course (with a slightly red face) I sang my heart out to Tracy. A German woman sitting opposite to me was also singing along. She then started singing along whilst looking at me and awkwardly we sang together. It was a special moment...well it felt special after a bottle of Prosecco. 

We then sang Take That together. 

Oh god, I'm dreading bumping into her. 

CRINGE.

This morning (after my daily croissant with nutella) we had a boat ride across the lake to Limone. Oh dear. The boat was so crowded we were like sardines, and I got split up from Heather. 

I was having to stop myself being sick for a whole hour. It was TERRIBLE. Boats and hangovers are not a great combination. 

However, Limone is a beautiful place so I soon felt happy again. It's also famous for making Limoncello, so I obviously bought a big bottle. 

It's probably not big enough to be honest. 

Look at my pretty photos:

We're out partying tonight so wish me some Italian men hunting luck. 

X 

Rule No. 20: You're never going to be Jay-Z...unless you are Jay-Z

I don't know what is happening to me, but I am currently listening to Selena Gomez's new song. Yes, that's right, I actively searched for it on YouTube. Please feel free to shoot me. Actually don't, I don't want to die. Please feel free to wave your finger at me with a disappointed face.

Last night ended up being a pretty big night...which resulted in a 4am taxi ride home with Emma and Aimee asleep in the back, and me eating a family sized bag of Wotsits. However, surprisingly I woke up feeling great this morning so I had a little Waitrose trip with my housemate. I was in such a good mood, I was walking down each aisle singing the new Jay-Z song really loudly, and doing that gangsta limpy walk thing whilst carrying my shopping basket. My housemate walked a couple of steps ahead of me, but she said she's not going to worry about me until I start wearing a backwards cap.

Maybe I should also start posing like this.

Minus the chain because that looks really heavy. And expensive.

It wasn't until I left Waitrose that I realised it was pretty obvious that I hadn't showered...

Classy.

When I got home (after washing the stamp off) I started to try and learn how to play the ukulele using YouTube tutorials. It wasn't successful. For some reason there have always been two things that I have never been able to learn how to do, despite my biggest efforts. These are, learning a foreign language, and playing an instrument. I tried learning to speak German last year, I paid £100 for the course and I still only know how to count to ten and say thank you. I just don't get it.

Ich liebe Wurst.

I feel like giving up on the ukulele already...first of all I had a massive tantrum because I couldn't even tune the bloody thing. I then watched a YouTube video that was made for CHILDREN in hope that it might help me understand it a bit more, but I couldn't even play Old McDonald.  I think I'm going to give myself a little break and come back to it in a few days. Sad face.


P.S. CHECK OUT MY MASSIVE MR FREEZE.

Yes, it really is ginormous.

Bye

x

Rule No.8: Always check you're at the right stage

People are actually liking my blog, which is a relief! Thanks guys :) I was slightly concerned that the only person reading it would be me.

I was at Lovebox yesterday so I couldn't post my blog. I could have tried at 1am, but it would have just been a rambled mess. Too much cider. 

Lovebox has made me realise that I love thinking I'm a rude girl. I have about twenty photos on my phone with me posing wearing a snap back. 

Here is a photo of me pouting and looking really cool... Oh dear. 

So the main act I wanted to see at Lovebox was Rudimental. We went to what we thought was the main stage as they were about to come on. Scrambled to the front, and to our disbelief Wiley came on. We were at the wrong stage...I only got to see one Rudimental song. Disaster. 

Azealia Banks was absolutely incredible. I was dancing like I was such a rude girl. Loved it. I've been listening to her all morning and dancing around my room. I am no longer an indie girl. This is the new me, badass G. 

The highlight of yesterday however was discovering a big fluffy caterpillar on my friends skirt when we were on the tube home. How did it even get there? It was like a caterpillar cactus. 

Peace out x 

Rule No.4: When your local takeaway know who you are, it's time to stick to salad

Sometimes in life you have one of those days that makes you see things differently. Today has been one of those days.

Firstly, I got my photo taken for the October issue of Cosmo and I look bloody terrible. Even with a professional photographer and professional lighting I am never going to be a model. Obviously this has always been clear, but today made it crystal.

Secondly, I went to the Bedford in Balham (a local pub) and they usually have really cool bands play on Mon-Thurs, but tonight it was a college band night. However, after contemplating leaving we stayed and it was actually pretty good and I realised that I  quite like metal music, so maybe I'm not just an indie girl after all. But, most of all I realised that it was 7 years ago since I was at college. Time goes too fast, and I am now starting to feel old.

Thirdly, and most importantly, I've been meaning to sort my life out and diet/go to the gym for a couple of months now. However, I just keep putting it off. I like to say it's just because I've been ridiculously busy and stressed, but really it's because I like food and I don't particularly like exercise. Tonight however, I walked past my local fish and chip shop and the guy that works there waved at me. That is when I realised that I need to sort myself out. I CANNOT, I repeat, CANNOT be known as a local in the chippy. From now on I am going to be eating salad, and just salad. The chip shop man will have to beg me to return. BEG.

This is my sad face.


On a lighter note, I'm addicted to this guy at the moment - Benjamin Francis Leftwich

x

A bloody good day

I'm beginning my blog with a positive post as today has been a bloody good day. Not only have I just organised to go to Italy for a week in August, BRING ON THE PASTA AND TIRAMISU. But, I have also been given a free, yes free, weekend ticket for Reading Festival. This not only means I can see Bastille, The Lumineers, City and Colour, Foals, Biffy Clryo, Green Day, Imagine Dragons and 1975, but I get to bounce my arm in the air like 'I'm proper hard' whilst watching Eminem. I'm so excited I might burst. Or, break into a rap.

To top all of this great shizzle off (and I'm hoping you don't hate me already), we had a Greggs press day at work today. This means I consumed a chicken and chorizo pasty, two slices of pepperoni pizza, a cupcake and a mallow biscuit. I also nibbled a gingerbread man, but wasn't a fan. In conclusion I've been a pig, but thoroughly enjoyed myself. I also decorated a giant gingerbread man, and I don't think I did too badly considering I was rushing so that I could get back to my desk and stuff my face with beige food.

Yes, that's me and ginge. Unfortunately, she is no longer with us. R.I.P.