Rule No.83: Don't be concerned, but you could be a Neanderthal (OK, that's not a rule)

Did you know that lions and rhinos used to walk (would you say they 'walk'?) around Trafalgar Square 125,000 years ago? That's what I learnt yesterday. Also, hippos used to roam around the River Thames. Weird to think really. 

What's even weirder is that Neanderthals and homo sapiens used to sleep with each other so some of us could be part Neanderthal. It would probably explain a few things. 

I learnt all of this when I went to the 'Britain: One Million Years of the Human Story' exhibition at the Natural History Museum yesterday.

I then had a quick look round the V&A after. I'm a wannabe cultured young lady at the moment (probably not so much the lady). 

Last night I made fajitas for Heather, which I always feel is a family tradition even though I'm not at all Mexican. It's funny, now I keep getting mistaken for Mexican I'm starting to feel like I am Mexican. Maybe I should tell people to pretend to mistake me for Kelly Brook, then I might start looking and feeling like her.

Anyway, the fajitas were extremely good, if I do say so myself. 

They were actually the best fajitas I've ever had.

OK, that might be an exaggeration. 

Today I had four tickets to a film preview in Leicester Square. The film isn't out until the end of March so I'm not allowed to talk about it. But, what I will say is I'm not too sure why four adults (me and my friends) were so excited to get up early on a Sunday morning to watch a kids film. However, I must say we all really enjoyed it. 

Afterwards I went to the British Museum. I've never been before and it was really good! Out of all of the museums in London it's definitely one of the most 'grown up' ones. I was therefore rather proud of myself. Plus, THREE museums in one weekend is pretty good going.

This blog basically confirms that I deserve a medal. Or a trophy. Even better, a statue in the British Museum. Not a naked one though. My brother would probably say something like "yea, a statue in the Natural History Museum next to the gorillas". I don't blame him, that's what brothers do, but I'd much rather be with the dinosaurs. People queue an hour to see these and I like feeling special.

I will leave you with my Starbucks cup. I told them my name was Gina and this is what I got...

Apparently Gina was too hard to write...to be honest, the smiley face gave me a smiley face so I liked it.

Good night and hope you have a lovely Monday.

x

Rule No. 66: Tube journeys have their ups and downs

I've hit an all time low.

I've run out of guys on Tinder. 

What am I going to do with my time now?!

So the main topic today is the tube (underground). Starting with a nice story about a dog...

I was sitting on the tube the other day observing the rest of the carriage whilst listening to One Direction. I noticed a couple had fallen out and were sitting next to each other, but facing in opposite directions with miserable faces. There was a man wearing a suit who was obviously really tired from work and was dozing off. And everyone else just looked pretty fed up... it was 7pm on a Monday after all. Then, a guy came on the tube and sat down with a little dog. It was so bizarre, all of these tired people with sad faces suddenly lit up. Everyone started smiling and two people even got up to go over and stroke the dog. Then the couple that had fallen out smiled at each other and the guy even grabbed her hand.

It just shows you what a dog can do.

This story I don't find as nice. I got off at Stockwell on Tuesday morning to change to the Victoria line. As I was getting off the tube a guy said to his mate 'she's not bad bro'. That's right, 'NOT BAD'!!! I mean it's not the best thing to be publicly called, he may as well have shouted 'she will do I suppose'... Well, thanks for that, I'll now skip to work thinking what a catch I must be. 

Then again, this morning was HORRENDOUS. A few seconds after I got on the tube a man started rubbing himself against me. I wasn't sure if I was being paranoid, but I moved away from him and stood with my back against the tube door just in case. However, he then moved next to me and put his hand on my bum (he was a business man in his early 40s, if you would like to picture him). At first I thought 'this can't actually be happening', but I looked down and he definitely had his hand on my bum, so I wasn't imagining things. I built up the courage and shouted "CAN YOU PLEASE STOP THAT". He replied 'stop what?'. I then shouted even louder "WILL YOU TAKE YOUR HAND OFF MY BUM RIGHT NOW". Guess what his reply was...? "oh, sorry". He did take his hand away though. The worst thing about this is that I then had to stand next to him on the crowded tube for another three stops. I was fuming. What a disgusting man.

I am proud of myself though. This is about the eighth time a man has done something like this to me on the tube. I've always just kept quiet and moved away. This time I wanted to embarrass him (although he didn't seem too bothered). I will never keep quiet again though, you never know they might think you like it if you don't say anything. It's just shocking how many disgusting men there are out there.

Anyway, this weekend was ace. Jade, Fern and Kirsty visited me for the weekend and we had a right adventure! Starting off in Sushi Samba for a glass of wine, then a stroll round Spitalfields market, then lots of dancing, sausage eating and mulled wine drinking at Winter Wonderland. THEN, we went to Shoreditch for a night out (yes, this was all in one day). This is the mess I had to deal with on the bus:

And this is the mess I had to deal with in the outside area of the Dolphin in Hackney.

The best quotes from the weekend were as follows:
Fern = "To be fair I did used to have a thing for Bart Simpson"
Kirsty = "Gina, have you got an adaptor?" (yes that's right she thought her visit to London meant she'd need to use a plug adaptor...)

I wouldn't change them for the world.

xx

Rule No.31: There is always a reason why people are staring at you...

OMG I AM SO TIRED.

I came back from Italy at 7pm on Sunday to my newly painted bedroom, which was completely empty...I didn't even have curtains.

By 11.30pm it looked like this (I don't think I did too badly)...

Two days later it looked like this...

OK, that's shameful, but I haven't got home until 10pm for the past two nights and now it's midnight and I'm writing this. I NEED SLEEP.

Monday was actually a pretty good day apart from the mild depression when waking up to no Italian sunshine and pretty mountains. Oh, and my usual wind incident happened... Just as I was walking into my office my skirt completely blew up revealing my whole bum to the guy behind me, which unfortunately for me was a guy that worked on Men's Health who then got into the same lift as me. The phrase 'awkward silence' doesn't even come close to describing the situation. I don't think I have ever stared at my feet so much in my life.

After eating enough pasta in the past week to feed ten rugby teams for an entire year, I have decided I am going on a diet. I have read up about eating like a Scandinavian and I think I could do that. However, I couldn't find rye bread in my local Sainsbury's and thought soda bread would be the same. Apparently I was wrong. However, my lunch did look pretty healthy today.

I did consume a cookie and a bit of Toblerone after, but that's not the point.I still had healthy stuff beforehand.

I had a meeting in the afternoon, where as usual I left the office panicking that I was going to be late. I got so hot from rushing to the meeting that by the time I got to the offices my face looked like someone had squirted me with a water gun.

I couldn't help but notice that people were staring at me during my trek to the meeting. However, in my mad panic I didn't think to wonder why. It wasn't until I reached the reception desk at the offices that I thought to check what I looked like. Oh dear. My dress had unbuttoned down to belly button and my whole bra was on display to the world. Luckily, I was wearing a nice bra and not one of the 'should be white, but is grey and should never be seen' ones.

After my meeting I got a little lost...Note to self, always go the way you came and use breadcrumbs to guide you.

Although, getting lost did mean I got to see my mate Paul.

 I love Paul.

I'm sure you will have all been aware of the One Direction premiere last night. I'm not going to lie, I wish I had been there. My friend Jade got to go and she even got papped with Simon Cowell (kinda). She's the one with the massive grin.

If that was me (and I had some how been lucky enough to get a ticket) I would have probably fallen over just as the photo had been taken, so I think Jade did pretty well here.

I assure you though, if I had been there I would have NOT looked like the below. I mean, I love 1D, but come on this is just silly...

I think the only time I cried like that was when I was ridiculously hungover and the pub had ran out of pie & mash.

I'll leave you with the thought of my face at that current time.

x

Rule No.19: If you're thirsty then drink water, not wine

Don't hate me!

Sorry I haven't posted anything for two days. I went out with work on Thursday night, which consisted of A LOT of wine and champagne. We were on a roof terrace in the 32 degree heat and it was so hot we just kept drinking more and more wine. I probably should have drank some water to quench my thirst as I'm pretty sure I consumed at least two bottles of rosé and half a bottle of champagne. I was going to write a post when I got home, but I stopped myself...it would have consisted of a lot splling erors and thins tat dont mayk sens.

Last night I went for a few drinks with some of the girls (the wolfpack) after work. Then, came home, had a curry with my housemates, watched 'There's Something About Mary' and then passed out.

To make it up to you here's a photo of me wearing a face mask.

Yes, I agree I look like the Mighty Boosh moon.

This probably doesn't come as a surprise to you, but I've deleted my Plenty Of Fish account. I only lasted three days and I didn't end up replying to that guy either. It is just full of TERRIBLE men. The final straw was when I got a message saying 'come and claim your prize'... I'm sorry everyone, I know you wanted me to go on random dates and tell you how horrendous they were, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Anyway, a girl at work (after a lot of champagne) announced that she thinks I'm going to marry someone called Henry. Apparently she thinks I need someone posh, as opposites attract...I presume that means she thinks I'm common..? Brilliant.

I had the most amazing lunch on Thursday at Granger and Co in Notting Hill, I really recommend it. The food was amazing, and we all shared this incredible pavlova. I WANT TO EAT IT AGAIN NOW.

On my way back to the office a wasp landed on my nose and it really stung. I was definitely seconds away from getting a massive sting on the end of my nose (which would have looked terrible). I think wasps are plotting to attack me after I killed two last Saturday night. To make matters worse I also saw Katie Waissel on the tube. Obviously I just sat there listening to my iPod as lets be honest it's a rubbish celeb spot (could you even call her a celeb?). I only noticed it was her because of her massive chin.

I also noticed on my journey back to the office that I tend to follow people that smell nice, male and female. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one that does this?? To me it makes sense...if you're walking in the same direction you may as well follow something that smells good. Yes, that probably sounds a bit weird. I do recommend it though.

This morning has consisted of me lying on my bed in my pants sending snapchats to Aimee of my elephant (to anyone that hasn't read my previous posts, my elephant is my teddy bear...it's not a metaphor). It is ridiculously lame to admit this, but we've been snapchatting videos of our teddy bears pretending they are talking. It has actually been really funny, but feel free to think I'm an absolute weirdo.

...Tonight I'm going to 'really cool' house party in Old Street and then out in Dalston. I've only told you this so you might think I'm a little less odd.

I'm going to leave you with a great invention to encourage your kids to burn each others faces off.

What were they thinking???

I want one.

x