Rule No. 43: Don't get upset, boys are like dinosaurs

I didn't end up going to the silent speed dating on Friday night. I couldn't face the awkwardness when all I wanted to do was go home and lie down. I love lying down. So I went home and watched a film in bed whilst eating a BBQ chicken pizza with a ridiculous amount of garlic dip.

Heaven.

I doubt I would have met the love of my life anyway...especially when all I could do was mime or make noises. I would have got nervous and started snorting like a pig.

I know it's strange, but I'm so glad it's been raining recently. I'm one of those weirdos that actually quite likes the cold. Plus, when it's raining the ducks are happy, the plants are happy, the clouds are happy to be lighter and I'm happy to be inside nice and dry. Of course I agree that being outside sucks, especially without an umbrella, but when people are outside and you're inside it's amazing.

For once I didn't go out Saturday night, Abi came over and I sat with my 'I Love Porn' tshirt on, my harem trousers that I bought in Thailand, socks with holes in that I should have thrown out years ago and my big red fluffy dressing gown on that makes me look like a big giant tomato. We watched XFactor, Through The Keyhole and Starter For 10, and drank red wine. 

Earlier on in the evening I practised my fire poi so I did actually leave the house for a bit.  The only problem with fire poi is it makes me look like a car mechanic afterwards. I smell like one too.

In other news, I have come to the conclusion that men have become extinct. The reason I have come to this conclusion is because I know at least three friends that have been texting/dating a guy, and the guy has all of a sudden stopped texting them (for no reason as far as they know). Therefore, I think they might be like dinosaurs, they must have all died. That's the only thing I can think of. Why else would they stop contacting them? My friends are awesome. 

Boys are a weird species. 

I was supposed to be going on a date today, which didn't happen. Not sure why. Again, boys are weird. However, I'm glad it got cancelled because I look like Rudolph.

For now my plug in air freshener is going to be the only thing in my room that smells like a man. I didn't actually realise it was going to smell like a man when I bought it, but I'm pleasantly surprised. I know that sounds creepy, but it is nice coming home from work and having a manly smell in my room.

OMG I'M SUCH A WEIRDO.  

As well as looking like a red nosed reindeer, I've also noticed recently that I have eyes like a cow. 

Surely you can see where I'm coming from?!

Night x

Rule No.37: Don't pretend you can speak a foreign language

After watching Bridget Jones's Diary, Bridget Jones - The Edge of Reason, Dream Girls and X Factor, and after eating a bacon sandwich, cookies, pasta and Doritos, I finally felt less hungover yesterday.

It was a really good night on Saturday and it was great seeing the uni girls. After the house party (and a lot of gin) we went to The Dolphin in Hackney. I decided that I wanted to be everyone's best friend so I was chatting to EVERYONE and anyone. I got chatting to two guys (both reasonably good looking), one guy was German so I decided to tell him that I speak fluent German. Even though I can hardly speak any... He of course began talking to me in German.

I didn't have a clue.

I just said 'Mein name ist Gina' to at least prove I know a tiny bit.

I then had to embarrassingly admit I was slightly exaggerating when I had said 'fluent'. He laughed, luckily. But, I looked like a right idiot.

I was actually quite proud of myself yesterday, even though I was ridiculously hungover I still managed to do two lots of washing and I even made my friend Sarah a good luck card. She's moving to Bolivia tomorrow, the crazy cat.

I'm so artistic. 

However, on to today...for a Monday morning it has actually been OK. Apart from the DISGUSTING Brazil nut I ate an hour ago. It tasted like mould and the taste was so strong it was making me gag (sorry). I was sitting at my desk so I couldn't just spit it out either. It felt like I was doing a bush tucker trial, I kept chewing really quickly and grabbed my glass of water to help wash it down. It was really really vile, and as you know I'm not very fussy with food. Nevertheless, you'll be glad to know I passed the trial, and I had a Reece's peanut butter cup as a reward (then I had three more).

I'm going to leave you with a video of my hula hoop practise. I am terrible, I move like a hippo.

P.S. I have my first three hour fire poi choreography lesson tonight. Although, I don't trust myself playing with fire for three hours...I've already come to terms with the fact I probably won't have any eyebrows left tomorrow. I've also warned my date that I maybe bald on Thursday.

x