Rule No.67: Consider drinking water and not just vodka

On Thursday 5th Dec it was the Cosmopolitan Women of the Year Awards, which were held at the V&A in London. 

I prepared the night before with a face mask.

I wasn't going for the Hannibal Lecter look on purpose.

On the day itself I had my makeup and nails done with a client. I felt pretty pampered for once, I actually looked alright! On arrival I saw McBusted being photographed by the press, but then got distracted by men handing out champagne. This was a problem throughout most of the night.

I did have my photo taken with McBusted though. I went over to them and exclaimed "I'm just so excited you're all here". To which Dougie replied "oh, that's cool". However, we both knew it wasn't cool and I actually sounded like a massive tit. I got a photo anyway. 

We all went to sit down for dinner and the room looked beautiful. 

My photography skills were terrible so I apologise.

I nipped to the toilet before the awards started and met Nicole and half of Little Mix in the queue. Nicole didn't actually queue for the toilet though..she just went straight in. Then again, I saw Paloma Faith go into the mens toilets to skip the queue.

Fair play.

Here I am looking creepy with Scherzy and my friend Mel.

And here I am wanting to look like a Little Mixer.

By the time the awards had finished I had consumed a rather large amount of vodka. This was mainly due to the fact my friend JoJo was pouring me drinks that consisted of half vodka, half lemonade. They were so strong that they tasted vile, so everyone told me just to hold my nose and drink it really quickly. And since I am a massive idiot that's exactly what I did.

Then this photo happened with Harry from McFly... 

It's such a shameful pose, even for me. Ah well, Harry seemed to be getting into it...

The rest of the night consisted of more drinks, lots of dancing and a really good evening. Next year I am going to stay relatively sober though...I'm annoyed at myself that my night is a bit of a blur. Plus, I was sick six times the next morning before having to go to work. It was less than ideal.

Don't worry, I've already given myself a good talking to. 

Anyway, yesterday I saw my mummy!

We went to see Matthew Bourne's Swan Lake, which was incredible! My mum had been given a ticket to see the show as she used to make costumes for Andy Monaghan who was the Prince. Therefore, I decided to buy a ticket so I could go along too. However, this meant I was sitting on my own (you'll understand the relevance of this in a minute).

I was planning to meet my mum at the theatre at 2pm, but due to an EXTREMELY slow tube I didn't get there until 2.45pm. The show had started at 2.30pm so the theatre staff let me in during a scene change, but it was pitch black and I couldn't see where I was going. Typically my seat was right in the middle of the row so I had to make everyone stand up so I could walk to the middle. This was until I got to a man who refused to stand up to let me past. The only way I could get past him was to physically climb over him, which I obviously couldn't do. Therefore, I was stuck. People started moaning and saying 'this is ridiculous'. I didn't know what to do. 

I had no choice but to sit where I was. I couldn't get 15 people to stand up for me again. Luckily for me a kind woman let me have her seat and her two children (who were actually in their 20s had to share a seat). It was awful. When it got to the interval the kind woman, one of her children and six women over the age of sixty that were sitting in the row behind me all shouted at the horrible man. It was funny, all of the moaning and the 'this is ridiculous' comments were actually about the man. Such a relief because I thought I had made a lot of theatre goers very angry. 

After the interval I went to go and sit in my actual seat, but as I was squeezing past people to get to it I spilt half of my glass of water over two girls in the row below. They gave me a horrible look and moaned at me. I felt like maybe I don't belong at the ballet and maybe I'm just not sophisticated enough. However, I sat down and decided to just forget that I am a total pillock and enjoy the rest of the show.

The show was abolsutely amazing and Andy was an incredible prince. I want to go again! Next time I'll leave extra early and avoid glasses of water...

Night x

Rule No. 41: Never leave the house when you look horrible

It's typical that you bump into everyone you know when you're looking your worst.

On the way to my fire poi lesson last night I bumped into two people I hadn't seen for ages. I also saw a guy that's a bit of an ex...why did I see him for the first time in months when I'm wearing really scruffy jeans, a creased Uni hoody that's six years old with holes in it, and my hair scraped back with no make up on?!

I obviously acted like I hadn't seen him so he didn't have to see my spotty face up close, but from the corner of my eye I could see him staring at me. Probably nearly vomiting and thinking 'why did I ever go there?'

Although, I can't have looked as horrendous as I felt because a younger, spottier version of Richie from Bottom growled at me when he walked past. GROWLED!

It might not have been a 'sexual' growl though, it could have been an angry growl. Or, maybe he just likes growling?

So my diet officially started yesterday. Although, I did eat a croissant for breakfast and some Minstrels after lunch, so technically the diet started from 3pm. It has now been over 24 hours and I am still on track. 

I am also going to the gym tomorrow. Well I thought I better go before they start sending out a search party.

In other news the Cosmo Lingerie Show tickets are now on sale. I'm ridiculously excited because I helped organise the show, and it's held at One Marylebone, which is a great venue. Although, the last time I was there for the Inside Soap Awards a random man came up to me and told me that 'we were the ugly ones in the room'. Apparently this is a guys way of flirting (?), but all it did was shatter my confidence and it made me want to kick him where it hurts. Especially as I'd actually made an effort to look nice that night. Thanks pal! 

My friends found it hilarious. 

I was meant to go to a film preview tonight for Powder Room, but I got ridiculously lost and missed the first half of the film. Therefore, Aimee and I decided to go to the Jade Garden in Chinatown instead. We were really disappointed to have missed the film so we ate lots of dumplings and prawn crackers to make us feel better. 

OK so I lied. The diet is not on track. 

I'm sorry for lying.

X 

P.S. Cadbury's are releasing a bar with Daim in it. I hope you're as excited as me. I WANT IT IN MY MOUTH NOW.

Rule No. 39: Don't get your eyebrows tinted in a public place

I got told I look like Eva Mendes today. BOOM! What a great Friday. It was made even greater by eating a bacon sandwich and drinking red wine for most of the evening...I don't think I'm drunk yet.

I've not long arrived in Coventry as I'm staying at my parents house this weekend. I feel so relaxed already, I always seem to sleep better at my parents house. It's probably because I know I don't have to get up for work or do any washing or tidying the next day (no matter how much my dad tries to get me to do it).

I was also very excited to see this ugly thing.

He actually looks cute here, but trust me, he isn't.

Taz has always been a stupid dog, but now he's 13 he's REALLY STUPID. For example, tonight he spent a good ten minutes trying to use his paw and tongue (alternately) to get to a dog biscuit that was stuck underneath some drawers in the kitchen. I eventually thought I'd be a good mother and move the drawers so he could get to it. Any normal dog would be like 'YEEESSSS (woof) I can now get to the biscuit (woof)'. Nope, not my dog. He trotted away. YOU STUPID DOG. I then pointed to the biscuit and called him over, but he just stood there like I was telling him a really boring story about plants (or something equally as boring). What an idiot. He did eventually eat it...just to let you know.

It's funny how animals get so excited about food. Like the other day at work, my manager, Sarah (a human) was telling us how she was going to an American restaurant for dinner that night and couldn't wait to have a burger (don't blame her). It was then that she went on to describe how they have sticky toffee milkshakes, she got so excited talking about it that she did a fist pump.

Oh, I loved it. That's true passion for food.

On other work news, the majority of the girls in the office got their eyebrows tinted today. Sandra brought in her kit and treated us all to a free tint. Although, she jokingly told me that she was going to charge me £15. Therefore, with a mouthful of dumpling noodle soup I told her to f**k off. It is probably quite a risky thing to do when someone is holding a dye covered brush in their hand, that they could just smear across your face. Luckily she stayed professional.

However, at first I did look like a mime artist.

 

 

 

 

I look normal now though I promise (well as normal as I will ever look).

 

OK, so I'm sure you're dying to know...yes, I had my date last night. And, I therefore spent Wednesday night doing some last minute squats and sit ups. Well I had to something. I received another email from the gym the other day saying that 'they're worried about me'. Therefore, I thought a last minute attempt to tone up and lose some pounds might be a good idea. Not that I did tone up or lose any pounds.

 

I'm afraid (don't hate me) I'm not going to say much about my date. I'm sorry, I know you want juicy gossip, but let's be honest I'm already risking being single forever when I constantly talk about food, being hungover, being drunk and posting photos of me looking like a mime artist. However, I will tell you this...we have another date (and we kissed).

 

Right, I'm going to drink some more red wine (it's free wine from dad so may as well take advantage).

 

Good night x