Rule No.86: Don't ever announce that your fingers smell like fish on a busy train

It's been a while. I'm sorry. However, you'll be glad to know I have just ordered myself a new laptop so I'll be back to my usual blogging self soon. And it only cost me £1,288...vom.

The past eight days have been rather busy. Starting with a weekend in Liverpool, three days on a shoot in Marbella and then a trip back to Coventry to see my friends and family this weekend. I feel like I don't know what my London flat looks like anymore. However, that will soon change when I get home tonight, I won't be going anywhere for at least a month. Unless you count going to work and Waitrose.

Liverpool was bloody hilarious. When five girls similar to 'The Inbetweeners' characters come together for one weekend it results in a lot of laughter. One of the most awkward moments for me particularly was when I decided to buy prawn crackers for the train journey, which not only made the whole carriage stink of fish, but made the girls heave slightly. I then announced "ergh my fingers stink of fish". The men behind me on the train looked horrified and so did my friends. No matter how many times I tried to explain it was because of the prawn crackers they wouldn't let it go. I'm now called fishy fingers. 

Whilst on the train we also decided what type of facial hair we'd have if we were men. These were the results:

Obviously we weren't implying Emma was actually like Hitler. And I am definitely not as smooth as Craig David, but I think they so suit us well. 

When in Liverpool we found this 'quality' student accommodation by Liverpool Lime Street Station.

I think the advertiser should learn what the word 'quality' means. He also deserves to be kicked in the shins for his false advertising. I feel sorry for any student that ends up here. RIP.

We also found these flowers, because obviously on St Patrick's day everyone wants to receive green flowers.

Supermarkets will try to sell anything these days. Next they'll be promoting parsley as 'perfect for St Patricks day' just because it happens to be green. Some daft folk will buy it though. This is, after all, the nation that causes a cardigan to sell out in 24 hours because Mary Berry wore it on The British Bake Off.   

On the way back to London we read this wonderful story: 

There's many words to describe this man, but 'SEXC' does not come to mind. I think I've been put off chicken for life and I never thought that would happen. Well actually it hasn't because I had chicken earlier, but you get my point. 

On a much less disgusting note, Marbella was brilliant and the shoot for Red looks incredible. Here's a behind the scenes pic: 

Anyway, it's back to normal work life tomorrow. Hope you all had fantastic weekends. 

X 

Rule No. 42: Don't say yes to things you know you won't want to do

This is another one of those 'I'm sorry I haven't blogged for days' posts.

I'M SORRY.

I had a shoot yesterday and didn't get home until after 9pm. I was so tired I consumed half a packet of haloumi and then passed out. On the plus side, after over 8 hours sleep (very rare for me) I feel ridiculously awake today.

The shoot went really well though. We were shooting three real readers and dyeing their hair bright colours - red, purple and pink dip-dye. All of the readers were amazing on camera, and they looked so great that I had to get the makeup artist to give me a makeover so I didn't feel too depressed standing next to them.

Check out Lorna's incredible dip-dye: 

She's off to be a fresher at Bournemouth Uni on Sunday so she'll definitely be making a statement!

I helped direct the shoot yesterday and I was pretty impressed with myself. I also went out to get everyone sweets and chocolate in the afternoon. I think I became everyones best friend when I came back with Haribo, Oreos, Peanut M&Ms and Giant Jelly Snakes (mainly so that I could eat them).

I also helped the stylist decide what each reader should wear on the shoot. When doing so I also found something that I liked...  (please ignore the horrible selfie)
 

It makes me look fierce and I like the fact I'll probably scare children. I doubt it will help me attract men though. However, I am thinking it could be a conversation starter...

On to today:

It's Friday the 13th, but so far it's been a pretty good day. Subway sent us bacon sandwiches this morning so obviously that has made me extremely happy. However, I've got silent speed dating tonight and I REALLY don't want to go (yes it's speed dating in silence...you can only mime). I have to go because I can't let my friend down, but I'm nearly crying just thinking about it. I just want to go home and watch Notting Hill, and finish the tub of Ben & Jerry's that's in the freezer.

I'll update you tomorrow on how it goes. Sob.

x