Rule No.23: If you want it then just get it*

I've just been shoppiiiiiing! Well, technically I exchanged something and upgraded by an extra £50...to nice new handbag. Woooo.

Personally I think it was a necessary purchase. If you saw the post 'Rule No.18' then you would have seen my other handbag, it had a big hole in it and a shoe lace as the zip head...I'm going to ignore the fact I could have fixed the hole and bought a new zip head because I LOVE my new bag, AND it has a side strap. Everyone needs a side strap. And, it looks posh and I want to be posh, or at least a little bit posh.

When I was browsing in Topshop tonight a denim crop top caught my eye. I was about to go over to look at it when a girl shouted to her mum "eerrgghh, can you believe someone would actually buy this?". I immediately changed direction and didn't look at the top. Oh the shame. I thought it was nice!! (She obviously had boring taste...)

I'm sorry to break it to you, but I'm going Italy on Sunday (YEESSSS). I'm going to Lake Garda with my house mate, and I can't bloody wait. I realised this morning that it will be the first time in three years that I'll be going on a holiday and not having to travel around everywhere. I can just chill and do nothing. I can actually take a suitcase and not a backpack! Oh, the luxury.

To add to my excitement I took a client to get a pedicure today so my feet are nice and my nails are bright pink. Also, Freya kindly sent me three bikinis for my holiday so I now have some beautiful bikinis to wear. Yea I know, you hate me.

Don't worry, I promise to blog from Italy (as long as I have wifi in the hotel). You're going to want to punch the photos of me lying by the pool and eating loads of tiramisu though. Muhahaha.

I have caveated todays rule as I don't believe you should always get what you want, but I do think that sometimes you should just do it. Like my handbag. I can afford it, so why not? If I was in debt then I wouldn't have got it, but I'm not, so bugger it. I WANTED IT. And today, I had made a salad for lunch but when lunchtime came around all I could think about was a chicken buritto. And, I know myself well enough to know that once I start thinking about a buritto then I won't stop thinking about a buritto. So I got one.

As long as you don't give in all of the time then I believe you definitely should on occasion. The other day I tried to avoid giving in...I'd already had dinner, but I really wanted a crumpet. I instead had a plum, but I wasn't satisfied so I had another plum. I ended up eating three plums and then still had the crumpet. It had got to the point where I wasn't going to stop eating things until I got my crumpet. Therefore, I should have just had one straight away. Silly bridget.

Anyway, if I get really fat then I can just follow Peter Griffin's rule. I think he has a valid point.

Actually, I'll be honest, I don't want to be round. Being short and round is not a good look. Have you ever heard anyone say "she was really fit, she was so short and round, it was really sexy". No, that's right, you haven't. I can't be round, I'm already short and I can't do anything about that.

My friend Ben has persuaded me to sign up to a silent speed dating night with him. It's not until 13 September, but OMG it's going to be the most awkward thing ever. Can you imagine anything worse than sitting in front of a complete stranger in silence? I would just have fits of giggles. The guy would probably be sitting there really seriously and I'll be snorting with laughter like a pig on laughing gas. I might have to wear a muzzle.

Good night x

Rule No. 18: Sometimes you just have to accept that you attract weirdos

I warned you that today was going to be a big post and I wasn't lying...

I did something on Monday that you are going to love, but I'll tell you about that a bit later. First let me tell you about today as there have been a few bad impressions and awkward moments (this probably isn't a surprise).

This morning my colleague told me she had a headache, so being the kind person that I am I offered her some Ibuprofen. However, I didn't think to check the packet before giving it to her (why would you?). All of a sudden there was a loud "errrggghh". Yep, that's right, there was a used chewing gum stuck to the packet.

I genuinely do not know how the chewing gum got there. I wouldn't like to think that I would just spit my chewing gum out into my bag. To make the matter worse there was a long dark hair (mine) stuck to it, which then became attached to my colleagues thumb. Obviously we both laughed about it, everyone knows me well enough to know that I'm not going to get embarrassed, and she's not type to get repulsed easily. However, it wasn't the greatest moment and I am a little concerned that people will question my hygiene. Therefore, it has made me think that it could be a good idea (excuse) to buy a new handbag...my current one obviously isn't very clean. The massive hole at the top of it isn't very attractive either.

Awkward moment number two, which I'm sure a lot of people can relate to (and it's not just me for once). This afternoon I phoned a company director who I hadn't spoken to before. When they answered we obviously did the whole 'hello' thing, but I then went on to say "I'm good thank you, how are you?". The only problem is, they hadn't actually asked 'how are you?'. WHAT WAS MY BRAIN THINKING... You then have that awkward 'oh sorry, you didn't ask me that' moment, which then makes it sound like you're criticising them for not asking how you are. DIG ME OUT. 

I won't make you wait any longer.

I've joined Plenty of Fish.

Now, I haven't joined the site expecting any dates, but it's more for the banter. I have actually joined once before, as last year my housemate persuaded me to sign up with her. I went on one date and I ended up dating him for four months. It wasn't a particularly enjoyable four months either as he was a bit of a kn*b, and I don't really know why I bothered staying with him. I also discovered that he was cheating on me too, the absolute £$£@*%$£!!!!

Therefore, I'm not actually sure I even want to go on a date, but I thought I would just see what happens. And, oh boy you're going to love some of the messages I've received. I've had about fifty so far and I haven't replied to a single one. And, that isn't even me being fussy, they're just terrible. I would say that 95% of the guys haven't even bothered to read my profile and they definitely haven't bothered to think of a nice message to send. Please see examples below:

1) Hi babs
2) Hi
3) Hey lady says up
4) Baby, does G stand for gorgeous?
5) Hey
6) Hi sweete
7) Hello can we me you frand go out  (????)
8) Heya I'm Matt
9) Knock knock
10) Hi How are you? Hopefully the weather will sort it's self out

My absolute favourite is this guy:

 

No, unfortunately that isn't his profile picture. Damn. 

News flash...as I was scrolling through to find the worst messages to show you, I received a message from a guy that actually seems nice, he's also good looking and he has banter. This could be my first reply...

x