Rule No.78: Be mean to guys. It actually works

You are all going to be extremely proud of me, I WENT TO THE GYM! Yes, you read correctly. 

I wasn't very happy about it though... 

...but actually I was really happy afterwards, so I celebrated with half a bottle of red wine and some chips that I stole from my housemates dinner plate.

Then I had a jumbo sized bag of Wotsits. 

I have been reasonably healthy this week though and my lunches have mainly looked like this:

I know it looks disgusting, but it actually tastes alright when you dip a baguette covered in butter into it (not so healthy after all).

Anyway, I've stayed in tonight as I got a little bit too drunk last night, which of course is not like me... I weirdly spent most of my night telling people that my friend Jonny was thinking about me whilst holding his willy. This came from the fact that when I first saw him in the bar he said "Giinaaaa, I was just in the toilet and thought 'I wonder if Gina is coming?' and here you are!" I then asked if he was thinking this whilst weeing and he said yes. Now I'm not too sure why I thought I needed to tell everyone the slightly exaggerated story, but I think white wine was the main reason.

Say that, I'm now sober and I still find it funny. My inner child needs to calm down. 

On a less weird note, I met a guy last night. We randomly started talking to each other after he held a door open for me (gentleman). Most of the conversation revolved around me telling him that he looks like a chav. I also told him he talks like a chav and sounds like Professor Green, where really it was just an East London accent. At one point I said "I bet your favourite music is rap and I bet you take loads of photos of your torso and put them on Instagram'. He obviously fought his corner and it turns out he actually isn't a chav at all. Then again I could have had my wine goggles on. Surprisingly though, after all of this he offered to buy me a drink and asked for my number.

Therefore, the moral of the story is that being mean to guys actually works. He even phoned me today and we're going on a date to London Zoo tomorrow.

Baffling I know.

Let's not monkey around though (lol, dad joke) it is bound to go wrong so let's end with this.

Night x

Rule No.22: Always beware when walking alone

You'll be proud of me, I went to the gym tonight!

My friend Sophie emailed me today and wanted to have a catch up so I suggested we use one of my gym guest passes (I can't believe I actually suggested this and not the pub). When I got to the gym I realised I had left my gym pass at home. Sophie and I looked at each other with the 'here's our excuse not to go' look, and Sophie then suggested we go for dinner instead. The thought of Pizza Express gave me tingles of excitement. But no, we were strong and we asked the receptionist if she could let us in without my pass. She let us in. Damn it.

Our gym session ended up being pretty good! We did approx. 40 mins of cardio and 20 mins of free weights. I'd say that it was a pretty good effort since we both hadn't been to the gym for about three months. After the gym we went and got half price sushi from Itsu (FYI, it's half price after 9pm), and ate twice as much as we normally would. Then, on the way to Oxford Circus station we both shared a Wispa. Therefore, the gym session was pretty pointless.

However, the Wispa tasted like heaven so it was totally worth it. We even made the 'mmm' noise for a good 20 seconds (until the Wispa had magically disappeared)

So last night I was in Brixton again for my Fire Poi lesson, and I can definitely 100% confirm that last weeks post about crisps attracting men is completely true. I was walking down the same street as last week, but this time not eating crisps. I was like a ghost, no one noticed me. I even walked past a group of 20 drunken men outside of a pub and there was nothing. What was even funnier about the situation was that I realised when I got to my class that my skirt had been lifted up by my bag, so my pants were on full show the whole journey. Therefore, crisps really do attract men. Either that, or my bum repels them.

On my way home that night I automatically got my phone out to check for any messages when I came out of the tube station. I then noticed a man who was about to cross the road in the opposite direction had started walking behind me. He was a scary looking man with his hood up. I put my phone away and started walking slightly quicker. I then got to a bus stop, where there were a lot of people so I started to slow down hoping he would overtake me, he didn't, he slowed down too. I wasn't sure what to do so I carried on walking. When I got to my street I decided not to risk walking down it as it's a really quiet street, and I was curently on a busy road. I decided to cross the road away from where I lived. He followed. I then crossed another road and headed towards a kebab shop that was open. He followed. I got to the kebab shop and stood next to a man that was outside and then the man that was following me ran off.

I know I usually like to post funny things, but if I hadn't noticed the guy following me and if I hadn't instantly put my phone away I would have definitely been mugged. Be careful people.

On a much lighter note, I'm taking one of my clients for a pedicure tomorrow so I've spent a good ten minutes trying to make my feet look nicer tonight. What a pointless exercise?? That's like washing your car before taking it to the carwash because you're too ashamed of how dirty it is. To be fair, my feet are still terrible. I hate feet.

Before I go and get some sleep. Check out the dress my mum made for me! I got home the other night to find a parcel that she had sent to me, it was such a lovely surprise!

She's got a Facebook page with all of the amazing creations she has made, if you want to see more then just click here.

Oh, also...I thought you might appreciate my pyjama top. I got it for free when I went to BCM in Magaluf when I was 17. I probably should get rid of it as some point...

Night! x

Rule No.6: When the gym emails you to say they're worried about you it's time to start going to the gym again

Well today has been interesting. Obviously the diet went out of the window again. I had a client breakfast this morning, which consisted of smoked salmon and scrambled eggs on toast. Then I had a River Island press event, where I got a free cronut (croissant and doughnut). In all fairness I only had a bite - it was very greasy and I'm not sure I liked it. Then, at another press event there was a chocolate stand with free samples...I don't need to explain much more. THEN I went to lunch with a girl that was leaving and had a fish burrito and THEN tonight I had a picnic, which consisted of crisps, bread, cheese, olives, cake...

To make matters worse I received an email from my gym this morning as they are worried about me. I've been once in the last two months and they're concerned to why I haven't been going. It's just so hard going after work when I get invites to go to the pub or for dinner!! However, I need to be strict. I don't want to be Mr Blobby in Italy! I'll try again tomorrow...

Here's the cronut:

On a non food/gym related note, when I was coming back from my meeting this morning I noticed there was a used plaster (bandaid) stuck to my foot. VOM. I tried scraping my foot on the floor (doing this when walking down Carnaby Street isn't the best look), but it wasn't working and I was worried people would think I was scraping dog muck off my shoe. I therefore decided to do a little shuffle now and again, which didn't work. My friend then attempted to use her shoe to help get it off, but that didn't work either. I finally decided to just pretend it wasn't there and sort it out when I got to my desk. Of course, when I got to my desk I completely forgot about it. Five hours later I looked down and saw the disgusting thing, and yes I had to use my fingers. I then forgot I did this and had a bite of the above cronut. Let's just hope I don't have any diseases.

Later on today I discovered a picture of me IN MY BIKINI on the Daily Mail. I was mortified/horrified/confused all in one go...how the hell did they get this picture??? A picture that I removed from my timeline on Facebook, because I didn't like it...and it was now on the bloody Daily Mail. I eventually discovered my friend had sent it in (I have no idea why) without even asking me. Disaster. Some people would say I'm now famous, some people would say it's very embarrassing. I'd 100% go with the latter. If you want to see it, then here you go.  It's one of the last photos and I have a red polka dot bikini on. Cringinghell.

That will be enough shame for today.

Night x