Rule No. 38: Don't accept flannels off creepy waiters

I feel fat.

Three curry's in under two weeks is quite a lot. I'm supposed to be dieting, or at least trying to.

However, it was really good catching up with Abi, Aimee and Vicki. Even though they got annoyed with me because I wouldn't sit on the tables that were outside. I hate eating outside. It's either too hot and the sun is in your eyes, or it's cold and things are blowing everywhere. And, there's always flies bugging me.

We had our usual catch up chats...work, boys, embarrassing stories... It's Vicki's two year anniversary soon, time has FLOWN BY! We were saying it seemed like yesterday that we were first introduced to her boyfriend at her house party. Aimee shouted 'OMG I was dating chav then' (we nicknamed him chav because, well he was one), and Abi exclaimed 'wow, I was going out with Mark then'.

Guess what I said...

'Yea, I was single then'.

Shock.

We all burst out laughing.

Back to the curry...I always look forward to the hot flannel and mint chocolate at the end just before you get the bill (the worst bit). Although, the flannel smelt a bit musty today, which upset me a little bit. However, it didn't upset me as much as the time I was out for a curry with my parents. The waiter made me pull the flannel out of the plastic wrapping whilst he was holding it. He grabbed it ridiculously tightly so I could only pull the flannel out REALLY slowly. And, he gave me a creepy smile as I pulled the flannel out. I'm pretty sure he was trying to flirt with me in a perverted way. My dad wasn't impressed.

I couldn't look the waiter in the eye afterwards. It gives me creepy shivers just thinking about it.

Moving on.

I am officially a cool person. Abi told me. In fact, Abi said I'm one of the coolest people she knows.

It's all because I had my first fire choreography lesson last night. LOOK!

I am so cool. I wasn't born, I was defrosted.

Peace out.

P.S. Date on Thursday night! 

Rule No.37: Don't pretend you can speak a foreign language

After watching Bridget Jones's Diary, Bridget Jones - The Edge of Reason, Dream Girls and X Factor, and after eating a bacon sandwich, cookies, pasta and Doritos, I finally felt less hungover yesterday.

It was a really good night on Saturday and it was great seeing the uni girls. After the house party (and a lot of gin) we went to The Dolphin in Hackney. I decided that I wanted to be everyone's best friend so I was chatting to EVERYONE and anyone. I got chatting to two guys (both reasonably good looking), one guy was German so I decided to tell him that I speak fluent German. Even though I can hardly speak any... He of course began talking to me in German.

I didn't have a clue.

I just said 'Mein name ist Gina' to at least prove I know a tiny bit.

I then had to embarrassingly admit I was slightly exaggerating when I had said 'fluent'. He laughed, luckily. But, I looked like a right idiot.

I was actually quite proud of myself yesterday, even though I was ridiculously hungover I still managed to do two lots of washing and I even made my friend Sarah a good luck card. She's moving to Bolivia tomorrow, the crazy cat.

I'm so artistic. 

However, on to today...for a Monday morning it has actually been OK. Apart from the DISGUSTING Brazil nut I ate an hour ago. It tasted like mould and the taste was so strong it was making me gag (sorry). I was sitting at my desk so I couldn't just spit it out either. It felt like I was doing a bush tucker trial, I kept chewing really quickly and grabbed my glass of water to help wash it down. It was really really vile, and as you know I'm not very fussy with food. Nevertheless, you'll be glad to know I passed the trial, and I had a Reece's peanut butter cup as a reward (then I had three more).

I'm going to leave you with a video of my hula hoop practise. I am terrible, I move like a hippo.

P.S. I have my first three hour fire poi choreography lesson tonight. Although, I don't trust myself playing with fire for three hours...I've already come to terms with the fact I probably won't have any eyebrows left tomorrow. I've also warned my date that I maybe bald on Thursday.

x

Rule No.35: Don't just blurt out whatever you're thinking

It's friiiiidaaaaaaay!!! 

I celebrated this morning with a chocolate croissant.

My Scandinavian diet is still on hold and I'm temporarily on the French diet.

It was my turn to finish work early today so I've come straight home (well I also bought a new top and skirt from Monki on the way) to clean my house. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME? I should be drunk by now. 

Say that, I think I had enough wine last night. 

I went to a work quiz night. Free alcohol meant I'd already had three glasses of wine before the quiz even started. I was chatting to two directors after my third glass, and I don't know why but I was coming out with the most ridiculous things. The first thing I said to one director was 'wow, you're tall'. Luckily they both laughed. Then even more awkwardly I said to the other 'nice holiday bracelet', only to find out it's actually really expensive. (I'm terrible with jewellery...just give me something from Topshop and I'm happy). 

I genuinely thought the bracelet was something like mine...

Then the food came out. We had two platters between three of us, which meant I consumed at least 15 mini sausages (that sounds dodgy), two mini burgers and a bowl of wedges.

I then came home to find both of my housemates still out. I didn't have a key as Jade accidentally took it back to Coventry on Tuesday, so I sat on my porch for half an hour listening to my iPod. I listened to 'Rudimental - Feel The Love' for the whole 30minutes. Not sure why, but I get really obsessed with songs sometimes. Like the time I listened to 'Union J - Carry You' on repeat to and from work for a whole week. I must have listened to it over 100 times.

Tonight I'm going on the Jack the Ripper tour. I'm pretty scared as it's meant to be very frightening and I get scared pretty easily. I'll probably end up having to hold someones hand. Preferably not a strangers (unless he's fit). 

I'm going with my friends from uni as Sarah is moving to Bolivia next month. Therefore, this weekend we're going to make sure she has an amazing time. Obviously Saturday night is going to involve a lot of alcohol. 

Last time we all got together we decided what animals we would be...

Suze = penguin

Hayley = peacock 

Aimee = fluffy cat 

Sophie = horse 

Sarah = gazelle 

Emma = poodle 

Gina = lion 

I'm quite glad I'm a lion. It's mainly because of my hair, I wouldn't say I roar that much. 

Right I'm going to clean my house before I get my nappy on ready for tonight (just in case I sh*t myself).

x

Rule No.16: Always remember to brush your teeth

It's not the best start to a Monday morning when the fire alarm goes off. The whole office did the 'do you think it's real? Let's just stay at our desks for a few minutes to see' thing. It only occurred to me as I slowly picked up my phone and dragged my feet towards the nearest fire exit that 'sh*****t, I'm the department fire warden'. I then of course made sure that everyone had left the department floor before I made an escape. I would like to say it's a rather heroic job, I could have saved lives (if it wasn't a drill).

When I finally got outside there was a big cheer and everyone praised me for my bravery. I wish. My team laughed at me. Apparently they are getting a little concerned that I have some kind of 'fire fetish'. I suppose not everyone learns fire poi and volunteers to be the work fire warden. I don't think they have anything to worry about until I start making fires at my desk. Although, I have become a little addicted to lighting the spray from an orange peel when you squeeze it really hard. I recently learnt the trick at a cocktail making masterclass. I'm not very good.

We ended up standing outside for about 10 minutes whilst all of our floors were checked for any signs of fire. Obviously we all chatted amongst ourselves (standing in silence would just have been weird). However, I probably shouldn't have talked to anyone. I stupidly forgot to brush my teeth this morning and I hadn't had a drink either. I felt disgusting. I hate that whole awkward trying to cover your mouth with your hand, taking a little step backward so you're not too close to the other person thing. Lesson learnt.

Tonight I met up with a couple of girls from home that were in London for the day. We went to Wahaca and stuffed our faces with mexican food. As usual we ordered too much so I challenged Sinead to Man Vs Food. As you can see from the picture, it didn't go too well.

We still ordered dessert.

Random thought...on my way home I noticed a sign for a missing cat. At first I felt sorry for the cat, and then sorry for the owners. However, it then dawned on me...why would you print a black and white picture of your cat? Surely that doesn't make people instantly recognise it? Or, maybe because I don't like cats I find it harder to notice the difference between them. But, surely a black and white photo doesn't tell you what colour the cat actually is? I wouldn't look at and go "oooh yeaaa that's the ginger cat I saw this morning". Therefore, I have decided that the owner is either very stupid, lazy or doesn't actually care that it's missing. Either that or I'm just a narrow minded cat hater.

Night x 

Rule No.9: Making friends with the DJ can be useful

Today I feel like death. I'm actually a little concerned I could have bed sores tomorrow morning. I haven't moved all day (except to go to the toilet, get water, get food and open the door to the pizza delivery guy). Oh yea, the diet isn't going well still. I've watched 10 episodes of New Girl and have now finished the whole of season 2. I cried three times - Jess and Nick's relationship is just far too much for me to handle. I also think I'm getting tonsillitis, which is pretty horrendous. I'm presuming having craters in your tonsils is not a good sign anyway?

So yesterday I went to a posh pub with my housemates for lunch, which was really lovely. However, slightly awkward when I asked the waiter for my Pork Belly to come with chips instead of potato pancakes (I needed as much grease as possible after Lovebox). The waiter pulled a disappointed face, but said he will ask the chef. Five minutes later the chef came over to my table to convince me that I shouldn't exchange for chips as it would ruin the meal and that the potato pancakes were 'exquisite'. Obviously I stuck to chips, but felt so ashamed. I don't think I have ever felt so embarrassed to order chips before, I felt like I had asked Gordon Ramsey to make we a McChicken Sandwich meal.

After the pub we went to Battersea Park and hired a pedalo. I made sure that I was in charge of steering as I really miss driving my car (I haven't driven since moving to London) and it's the closest I could come to driving again. That, and pushing a shopping trolley round Sainsbury's. At first I was rather impressed with my skills, until I got cocky, which led to us getting stuck in a bush and narrowly missing a duck nest. People around us seemed to find this amusing, my housemates on the other hand did not see the funny side as they were getting hit by tree branches and leaves were getting stuck in their hair. I ended up getting us out of the bush however, and the rest of the pedalo ride was pleasant.

Last night we went out in Clapham North for my housemates birthday, which was really fun. We drank cocktails, we danced and I made friends with the DJ who was pretty hot. This meant we got all of our song requests played, and we sang at the top of our voices for the majority of the night. We also attempted to dance like Beyonce, but failed miserably.

Aimee and I (after a few too many cocktails) decided to show off our best pulling tactic. Unfortunately it wasn't effective. See below:

However, I do have a date next week...I met him at Lovebox on Friday and he's a really nice guy. Well he bought me and my friends bottles of water when we were thirsty and that always gives a guy brownie points anyway. He also wasn't put off when I sent him a pic of myself downing a pint of Guinness last night, which I weirdly drank faster than my two Irish guy friends...I think I need lessons on being more ladylike.

Anyway, I'm off to gargle some salt water.

Night x