Rule No.13: Just because you were good at paper aeroplane competitions when you were five doesn't mean you will be now

First of all, I thought it was about time I shared with you a picture of one of my favourite friends.

Imaginatively, he's called Elephant. I have to be honest though I've been a bit mean recently, since the hot weather he's been sleeping on the floor a lot. It's too hot to spoon a fluffy thing.

In other news, I've decided not to go on my date tomorrow. He seems really nice, but I just think we're too different (not because he's nice as I'd like to think I'm nice too). I thought we were really different when I first met him, but the mixture of wine and cider made me not care. However, now I'm sober I'm being wise. I know I should just be like 'YOLO' and go for it, but I'm going to be honest here, the thought of finishing work tomorrow and going straight home to watch TV gives me shivers of excitement. I have a massive smile on my face just thinking about it. I might even get a curry.

So this means I have no dates lined up now. Men, please form an orderly queue. I like flowers, peanut butter and red wine. Also, I have never owned a designer handbag (unless you count the fake Jimmy Choo my mum brought me back from Thailand).

Working in a magazine company means I'm constantly surrounded by women, or gay men. However, today I discovered a floor where all of the straight men hide...the digital development floor. There were hundreds! Well it seemed like there were hundreds, it was more like 20. Anyway, they were holding a paper aeroplane competition, which after one beer I decided was a great idea to enter myself into (this was a team bonding exercise, we do actually work extremely hard!). I genuinely thought I was going to win. I used to always win them in primary school.

I got my paper folding moves out and concentrated like I've never concentrated before. When finished, I took my position on the imaginary line and threw my handcrafted plane. I came second to last. If this isn't clear, I WASN'T last. But, when it landed on the floor about a metre away from me I saw the face of one guy and he looked really disappointed for me. I think he knew how much I wanted to win. I must admit, it wasn't a great moment for my paper aeroplane making ego, but you never know, the men might sympathetically fancy me now.

Before I go and practise my fire poi routine - I've put a routine together to Azealia Banks '212' because I'm a rude girl now (please refer to the blog post 'Always check you're at the right stage'). I wanted to share with you '21 pictures that will restore your faith in humanity'. I read it whilst sitting in a coffee shop on my own waiting for a client to arrive. I sat there with tears in my eyes and a wobbling lip. Thankfully my client was 15 minutes late so I had enough time to compose myself before she arrived. By the way, I couldn't help but wonder how see-through the boxers would have been in picture 20...

P.s. I hope you're proud of how early I've written this!

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