Rule No.67: Consider drinking water and not just vodka

On Thursday 5th Dec it was the Cosmopolitan Women of the Year Awards, which were held at the V&A in London. 

I prepared the night before with a face mask.

I wasn't going for the Hannibal Lecter look on purpose.

On the day itself I had my makeup and nails done with a client. I felt pretty pampered for once, I actually looked alright! On arrival I saw McBusted being photographed by the press, but then got distracted by men handing out champagne. This was a problem throughout most of the night.

I did have my photo taken with McBusted though. I went over to them and exclaimed "I'm just so excited you're all here". To which Dougie replied "oh, that's cool". However, we both knew it wasn't cool and I actually sounded like a massive tit. I got a photo anyway. 

We all went to sit down for dinner and the room looked beautiful. 

My photography skills were terrible so I apologise.

I nipped to the toilet before the awards started and met Nicole and half of Little Mix in the queue. Nicole didn't actually queue for the toilet though..she just went straight in. Then again, I saw Paloma Faith go into the mens toilets to skip the queue.

Fair play.

Here I am looking creepy with Scherzy and my friend Mel.

And here I am wanting to look like a Little Mixer.

By the time the awards had finished I had consumed a rather large amount of vodka. This was mainly due to the fact my friend JoJo was pouring me drinks that consisted of half vodka, half lemonade. They were so strong that they tasted vile, so everyone told me just to hold my nose and drink it really quickly. And since I am a massive idiot that's exactly what I did.

Then this photo happened with Harry from McFly... 

It's such a shameful pose, even for me. Ah well, Harry seemed to be getting into it...

The rest of the night consisted of more drinks, lots of dancing and a really good evening. Next year I am going to stay relatively sober though...I'm annoyed at myself that my night is a bit of a blur. Plus, I was sick six times the next morning before having to go to work. It was less than ideal.

Don't worry, I've already given myself a good talking to. 

Anyway, yesterday I saw my mummy!

We went to see Matthew Bourne's Swan Lake, which was incredible! My mum had been given a ticket to see the show as she used to make costumes for Andy Monaghan who was the Prince. Therefore, I decided to buy a ticket so I could go along too. However, this meant I was sitting on my own (you'll understand the relevance of this in a minute).

I was planning to meet my mum at the theatre at 2pm, but due to an EXTREMELY slow tube I didn't get there until 2.45pm. The show had started at 2.30pm so the theatre staff let me in during a scene change, but it was pitch black and I couldn't see where I was going. Typically my seat was right in the middle of the row so I had to make everyone stand up so I could walk to the middle. This was until I got to a man who refused to stand up to let me past. The only way I could get past him was to physically climb over him, which I obviously couldn't do. Therefore, I was stuck. People started moaning and saying 'this is ridiculous'. I didn't know what to do. 

I had no choice but to sit where I was. I couldn't get 15 people to stand up for me again. Luckily for me a kind woman let me have her seat and her two children (who were actually in their 20s had to share a seat). It was awful. When it got to the interval the kind woman, one of her children and six women over the age of sixty that were sitting in the row behind me all shouted at the horrible man. It was funny, all of the moaning and the 'this is ridiculous' comments were actually about the man. Such a relief because I thought I had made a lot of theatre goers very angry. 

After the interval I went to go and sit in my actual seat, but as I was squeezing past people to get to it I spilt half of my glass of water over two girls in the row below. They gave me a horrible look and moaned at me. I felt like maybe I don't belong at the ballet and maybe I'm just not sophisticated enough. However, I sat down and decided to just forget that I am a total pillock and enjoy the rest of the show.

The show was abolsutely amazing and Andy was an incredible prince. I want to go again! Next time I'll leave extra early and avoid glasses of water...

Night x

Rule No. 21: Everyone has a dirty secret...

I have had over 4,500 views of my blog in 19 days, whaaaaat?!?! Therefore, without sounding like one of those crappy "I would like to thank my mum, my dad and especially God..." speeches, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

Before I started my blog, I read an article on The Guardian website with hints and tips to creating a successful blog (I had no idea how to do it). One of the tips was not to panic if your blog started to become successful, where they had classed successful as 1,000 views a month. When I read that, I genuinely thought 'I hope that one day I can get 1,000 views in a month'. How have I managed over four times that in less than a month?? Who bloody knows.

A special thank you to everyone that is sharing it on Facebook and Twitter. I haven't even had to force people at gun point to do that yet (to any policemen/policewomen out there, I do not own a gun. I do however own a nail file, which probably could cause a bit of damage if I tried really hard).

Anyway, onto today. I started reading a Roald Dahl book this morning, I've actually only read a couple of his books before. I was too obsessed with Jacqueline Wilson, Dick King-Smith, Enid Blyton and my Mega Drive (retro) when I was a child. Some would say I'm now a bit old for Roald Dahl and maybe I should try reading something of a higher calibre. However, I say screw you, the books are legendary. Today I've started on James and the Giant Peach. I must admit I did feel a little bit awkward on the tube this morning, I felt the same kind of way you would if you got on wearing a kids back pack. People looked confused, but at the same time were like 'fair play, you go for it'. And, I did go for it, I read four chapters and I'm going to read another four chapters in bed tonight. I am so wild.

On another note, I have been laughing all day thinking about a photo that my friend Kirsty got tagged in last night on Facebook. I was laughing so much at lunch that I had tears streaming down my face, and I sounded like Muttley from Wacky Races...

There can't be anything worse that getting tagged in a photo where you're generously helping yourself to a buffet. Especially when you didn't even know the photo was being taken.

Go on Kirsty, help yourself to another spring roll...

I now want spring rolls.

So today's rule... 'Everyone has a dirty secret', which they do, except me. I tell everyone everything (hence the blog). I can't help it, I feel like everyone needs to know everything about my life. I AM WHAT I AM. (I promise I won't tell anyone your secrets though, I am good at keeping those...most of the time).

I told a lie. I do have one little secret...

Welcome to the inside of my wardrobe:

I told you everyone has a secret. Mine happens to be ONE DIRECTION IN MY WARDROBE. Not the real One Direction, I wouldn't keep that a secret, I would definitely show off about that.



Night

x

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