Rule No.65: Be careful of what it says on your t-shirt

I had a £100 Selfridges voucher so I decided to treat myself. 

Eek. 

I don't know what's happened to me. I'd usually buy a purse from Primark. 

Ah well, as the 'cool' kids say...YOLO. 

I didn't buy the below (obviously), but thought it was too funny not to share. 

Basically, it's a top saying 'I'm a slut'.

Or have I got it wrong? 

And yes, my hat is a sheep's face. 

Whilst I was shopping I realised that every time I'm in a shop I'm always really conscious of how I act. I'm constantly scared security guards or shop assistants think I look suspicious. Does anyone else feel like this or am I just a paranoid Pamela? 

Obviously I don't steal stuff by the way. Except the plastic forks in Pret sometimes.

I know you already think I'm a bit odd, but you're about to think I'm even weirder...I've started taking sleeping tablets to help me sleep. Herbal ones. On Sunday night I was up until 3am keeping a look out for mice and screeching every time I heard the slightest noise. However, the last few nights I have slept amazingly. I've also learnt that having Magic FM on in the background makes me sleep better as I don't listen out for any scratching or rustling of mice. Just to make this clear, I haven't actually seen or heard a mouse for about three weeks so I know they've gone. I just can't get the fear of seeing them in my room out of my head.

I did however have a horrible thing happen to me on Monday night. You know that awful moment when you suddenly realise that one day you're not going to be alive? And you keep thinking, 'no, that can't be true', 'OMG it actually is'. A sudden realisation that one day you're going to die and you just can't get over it. Oh I hate it, it really freaks me out. I had to on Tinder to take my mind off it (any excuse).

Diet news, I've been proudly striding through the office with Scandinavian food this week. 

AND today I went for a pub lunch for Holly's birthday and I had a SALAD! I would usually have a burger so obviously I was pretty proud of myself. The thing is, it's the Cosmopolitan Ultimate Women of the Year Awards next Thursday and I want to be thinner. Not sure what can happen in a week, but every little helps. Plus, there's bound to be some fit celebs there. My colleagues have told me to try and snog at least three men. I'm aiming lower so I'm hoping to at least get one hug from a male. A proper hug, not a 'oh hello, nice to meet you' hug.  

Come on fat, BURN.
Night x