Saturday, 12 October 2013

Rule No.50: Always tell people it's your birthday, you get free things

This is my current situation.



The past four nights in a row I haven't got home before midnight. Therefore, today is a onesie day. I am also demanding that my friend Suze brings me a constant supply of coffee. Poor thing, she's come to stay for the weekend and I have so far just used her for her coffee-making skills. 

I did make her a bacon sandwich this morning though so I think I'm forgiven. 

Until I make her rub my feet.

This week has been my birthday week and I predict next week will also be my birthday week. You have to milk these things.

It's been a great celebration so far. I came into work on Thursday to find these on my desk...



A vanilla latte, muffin and Doritos. Incredible.

Jojo then brought this bad boy out...


I basically consumed the whole thing.

Me and a few of the girls then went out and drank lots of wine and prosecco. Two random guys also bought me a glass of wine each. I am such a PIMP.

No numbers though. Fail.

Yesterday I went to Sketch for afternoon tea with a client.


Basically my life has consisted of eating food and it has been ace.

To make it even better when I was walking along the tube platform yesterday it was really windy and I felt great. I felt like Beyonce as my hair blew in the wind and I glided along feeling bootilicious. Although, I didn't actually look like Beyonce, I was more of a Susan Boyle trying to be Beyonce.

I'm going to dedicate the next section to men. Here we go:

1) When talking about guys the other day, me and a few of the singletons decided that not only are boys dinosaurs, but they're also sloths.



They're weird. This is when Lucy exclaimed 'the only great relationship I have is with the fridge. I spend a lot of time with it'.

A fridge is the best kind of relationship if you ask me.

2) I'm chatting to a guy on Tinder at the moment and he's got great banter. He has to be a winner when the first thing I messaged him saying was 'moustache' (he has a moustache), and he replied saying 'jacket' (I'm wearing a jacket in my profile pic). Most people would just think I'm a weirdo, but he seemed to find me funny.

I understand I should probably change my tactics.

3) I witnessed a girl make her boyfriend stand in front of her on the escalator yesterday so he could block her from the wind (it was like a tornado). I've decided I would like my own personal wind shield. 

I'm out in Brixton with the girls tonight for my birthday and we're all hoping to get a snog. I will write a mini blog update tomorrow.

Wish me luck.

x

P.S. My friend Jo has bought me this. Best birthday present EVER. Maybe I should wear it tonight?


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